worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe theydidn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion'meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in theUSA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Humor-Women
WOMEN
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet
they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.
This has been sent to you from someone who respects you as a woman
IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH!IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN.
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to pass wind to amuse ourselves.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
I listened and paralyzed wht abo u????
vasan
Humor-mail to boos from indie!!!-funny one!!!-a tale.
email sent from India to his US boss.... pls. read below...
Subject: Fw: Euro-English..VERY IMPORTANT..for Technical Writers.
Subject: Fw: Euro-English..VERY IMPORTANT..for Technical Writers.
Hi Boss,
If Euro-English, happens, we will forget English spelling altogether. We can see from the following examples of how crazy English language is.
If Euro-English, happens, we will forget English spelling altogether. We can see from the following examples of how crazy English language is.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
6. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
7. I did not object to the object.
8. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
9. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
10. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. Other examples are:
1. There is no egg in an eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
2. English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.
3. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
4. We find that Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Some more examples of English confusion are:
1. Why is it that Writers write but fingers dont fing, grocers dont groce and hammers dont ham?
2. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
3. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. For example:
1. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
2. We ship by truck and send cargo by ship.
3. We have noses that run and feet that smell.
4. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which:
1. Your house can burn up as it burns down
2. You fill in a form by filling it out
3. An alarm goes off by going on.
4. When the stars are out, they are visible but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Indians, specially South Indians have a funny way of pronouncing certain words like 'Mixed Fruit Jam' and 'Fixed Deposits' etc.
Incidentally, it is pronunciation and not pronounciation.
A friend of mine wanted to borrow a cassette from me as he wished to record the same on his 'empty' cassette!
It was actually a 'blank' cassette he was referring to.
A few examples of American and English dialectal words:
American English
Telephone Booth Call Box
Biscuits Scones
Chain Store Multiple Shop
Drug Store Chemist
Gasoline Petrol
Cigar Store Tobacconist
Pea Nuts Monkey Nuts
Suspenders Braces
Silent Partner Sleeping Partner
Mail Post
Sidewalk Pavement
Our 'A' for instance, has six different values as in Fat, Fate, Father, Swallow, Water, Any.
'O' goes wild with not, note, bosom, women, above and who.
Two quotations from Bernard Shaw appeals to our mind:
a). Man does not cease to play because he becomes old
Man grows old because he ceases to play.
b). The reasonable man wants to change himself to suit the changing conditions of the world.
The unreasonable man wants to change the world to suit himself.
Hence all progress rests with the reasonable man.
Fianlly a fantastic touch:
a). We stand for election
b). We win in a walk
c). We sit in Parliament when it is in progress
Apart from Euro-English, I guess I have added some more confusion to our Unique English.
Need some more....
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan, that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik nthusiasm
In the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hava reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Howasthat!!!!! bowled...
Howasthat!!!!! bowled...
with warmth vasan sadagopan!
Humor-classic definitions and whacky side!!!!
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
Humor:sun moon wind at a dinner!!!!
HOW THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE WIND, WENT OUT TO DINNER
ONE day the Sun, the Moon, and the Wind went out to dine with their uncle and aunt, the Thunder and Lightning. Their mother (one of the most distant stars you see far up in the sky) waited alone for her children's return.
Now both the Sun and the Wind were greedy and selfish. They enjoyed the great feast that had been prepared for them, without a thought of saving any of it to take home to their mother--but the gentle Moon did not forget her. Of every dainty dish that was brought round she placed a small portion under one of her beautiful long finger-nails, that the Star might also have a share in the treat. 1
On their return, their Mother, who had kept watch for them all night long with her little bright eye, said, 'Well, children, what have you brought home for me?' Then the Sun (who was eldest) said, 'I have brought nothing home for you. I went out to enjoy myself with my friends--not to fetch a dinner for mymother!' And the Wind said, 'Neither have I brought anything home for you, mother. You could hardly expect me to bring a collection of good things for you, when I merely went out for my own pleasure.' But the Moon said, 'Mother, fetch a plate, see what I have brought you.' And shaking her hands she showered down such a choice dinner as never was seen before.
Then the Star turned to the Sun and spoke thus, 'Because you went out to amuse yourself with your friends, and feasted and enjoyed yourself, without any thought of your mother at home--you shall be cursed. Henceforth, your rays shall ever be hot and scorching, and shall burn all that they touch. And men shall hate you, and cover their heads when you appear.'
(And that is why the Sun is so hot to this day.)
Then she turned to the Wind and said, 'You also, who forgot your mother in the midst of your selfish pleasures--hear your doom. You shall always blow in the hot dry weather, and shall parch and shrivel all living things. And men shall detest and avoid you from this very time.'
(And that is why the Wind in the hot weather is still so disagreeable.)
But to the Moon she said, 'Daughter, because you remembered your mother, and kept for her a share in your own enjoyment, from henceforth you shall be ever cool, and calm, and bright No noxious glare shall accompany your pure rays, and men shall always call you "blessed."
(And that is why the Moon's light is so soft, and cool, and beautiful even to this day.)
intresting isn,t it?
ONE day the Sun, the Moon, and the Wind went out to dine with their uncle and aunt, the Thunder and Lightning. Their mother (one of the most distant stars you see far up in the sky) waited alone for her children's return.
Now both the Sun and the Wind were greedy and selfish. They enjoyed the great feast that had been prepared for them, without a thought of saving any of it to take home to their mother--but the gentle Moon did not forget her. Of every dainty dish that was brought round she placed a small portion under one of her beautiful long finger-nails, that the Star might also have a share in the treat. 1
On their return, their Mother, who had kept watch for them all night long with her little bright eye, said, 'Well, children, what have you brought home for me?' Then the Sun (who was eldest) said, 'I have brought nothing home for you. I went out to enjoy myself with my friends--not to fetch a dinner for mymother!' And the Wind said, 'Neither have I brought anything home for you, mother. You could hardly expect me to bring a collection of good things for you, when I merely went out for my own pleasure.' But the Moon said, 'Mother, fetch a plate, see what I have brought you.' And shaking her hands she showered down such a choice dinner as never was seen before.
Then the Star turned to the Sun and spoke thus, 'Because you went out to amuse yourself with your friends, and feasted and enjoyed yourself, without any thought of your mother at home--you shall be cursed. Henceforth, your rays shall ever be hot and scorching, and shall burn all that they touch. And men shall hate you, and cover their heads when you appear.'
(And that is why the Sun is so hot to this day.)
Then she turned to the Wind and said, 'You also, who forgot your mother in the midst of your selfish pleasures--hear your doom. You shall always blow in the hot dry weather, and shall parch and shrivel all living things. And men shall detest and avoid you from this very time.'
(And that is why the Wind in the hot weather is still so disagreeable.)
But to the Moon she said, 'Daughter, because you remembered your mother, and kept for her a share in your own enjoyment, from henceforth you shall be ever cool, and calm, and bright No noxious glare shall accompany your pure rays, and men shall always call you "blessed."
(And that is why the Moon's light is so soft, and cool, and beautiful even to this day.)
intresting isn,t it?
Humor:April fools day-how it originates?
How did April Fools' Day originate?
Apparently, you aren't the first to ponder the origins of April Fools'. While researching this question, stumbled across this poem:
The first of April, some do say, Is set apart for All Fools' Day. But why the people call it so, Nor I, nor they themselves do know. But on this day are people sent On purpose for pure merriment. --Poor Robin's Almanac (1790)
It's an apt sign of the ambiguity surrounding the holiday. Anyway, the story goes like this -
Up until the mid-sixteenth century, France celebrated the new year on April 1. But in 1562, Pope Gregory XIII introduced a new calendar to the Christian world, which changed the date of the new year to January 1.
Of course, they didn't have email back then, so word traveled slowly and some people continued to celebrate on April 1. These poor, misinformed souls were referred to as "April Fools" and had tricks played on them.
Whatever the specifics, we have to agree with Mark Twain, who said, "The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
Cheers!
vasan
Apparently, you aren't the first to ponder the origins of April Fools'. While researching this question, stumbled across this poem:
The first of April, some do say, Is set apart for All Fools' Day. But why the people call it so, Nor I, nor they themselves do know. But on this day are people sent On purpose for pure merriment. --Poor Robin's Almanac (1790)
It's an apt sign of the ambiguity surrounding the holiday. Anyway, the story goes like this -
Up until the mid-sixteenth century, France celebrated the new year on April 1. But in 1562, Pope Gregory XIII introduced a new calendar to the Christian world, which changed the date of the new year to January 1.
Of course, they didn't have email back then, so word traveled slowly and some people continued to celebrate on April 1. These poor, misinformed souls were referred to as "April Fools" and had tricks played on them.
Whatever the specifics, we have to agree with Mark Twain, who said, "The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
Cheers!
vasan
Inspiration-hapiness!!!!
GREDINESS ASCERTAINED:
The man travelled to other places in search of a girl of his choice, came across a rich man and got a proposal to marry one of the daughters of the rich man. The rich man offered half-a-million rupees if the greedy man married his 20 year old daughter, one million rupees for his 25 year old daughter and two million rupees for his 30 yeard old daughter.
As the dowry increased correspondingly with the age of the girls, the greedy man became excited and asked "have you an unmarried daughter who is 50 years old".
Money, wealth and prosperity are only tools.Money is not happiness. If the meaning of money is happiness,then all those who have plenty of money should really be happy,which is not so in real life. Happiness is buried deep inside in the meaning we give to money,position and life.
An ascetic was relaxing by stretching himself out. A passer by notice and asked:
While everyone is rushing around and working why are you lying
down doing nothing?
Ascetic asked "what is the use of working?"
Passer by "if you work you get money"
Ascetic" "and if I get money?"
Passer by: "you get all comforts of life".
Ascetic:"if I get all comforts of life?"
Passer by:"you can relax and remain idle"
Ascetic:"Well, right now I am doing the same thing".
Happiness and peace of mind is not in money and comforts. It is in the outlook and approach to the very life itself.
regds with warmth,
vasan.
There was a man who could be called the personification of greed. He opined that the girl he would marry need not have to be beautiful, good natured or intelligent, but has to possess money. The locals who knew his nature were not willing to let him marry any girl from among them.
The man travelled to other places in search of a girl of his choice, came across a rich man and got a proposal to marry one of the daughters of the rich man. The rich man offered half-a-million rupees if the greedy man married his 20 year old daughter, one million rupees for his 25 year old daughter and two million rupees for his 30 yeard old daughter.
As the dowry increased correspondingly with the age of the girls, the greedy man became excited and asked "have you an unmarried daughter who is 50 years old".
Money, wealth and prosperity are only tools.Money is not happiness. If the meaning of money is happiness,then all those who have plenty of money should really be happy,which is not so in real life. Happiness is buried deep inside in the meaning we give to money,position and life.
An ascetic was relaxing by stretching himself out. A passer by notice and asked:
While everyone is rushing around and working why are you lying
down doing nothing?
Ascetic asked "what is the use of working?"
Passer by "if you work you get money"
Ascetic" "and if I get money?"
Passer by: "you get all comforts of life".
Ascetic:"if I get all comforts of life?"
Passer by:"you can relax and remain idle"
Ascetic:"Well, right now I am doing the same thing".
Happiness and peace of mind is not in money and comforts. It is in the outlook and approach to the very life itself.
regds with warmth,
vasan.
Inspiration: a sishy fishy mushy deal!!!
A Fish Tale...
Japanese way of handling a problem....
The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japanhave not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population,fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.The farther thefishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish.
If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. TheJapanese did not like the taste.To solve this problem, fishing companiesinstalled freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freezethem at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozenand they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price.So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish andstuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.
After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tiredand dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste thedifference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, notsluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem?
How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?
If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend? As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting asuccessful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose yourpassion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax. You experience thesame problem as lottery winners who waste their money, wealthy heirs whonever grow up and bored homemakers who get addicted to prescription drugs.Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple.
It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddlyenough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."- L. RonHubbard
The Benefits of a Challenge:
The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem.
If yourchallenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering thosechallenges, you are happy.You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try newsolutions.You have fun. You are alive!
How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still putthe fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. Theshark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state.The fish are challenged.
Recommendations:
Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them.Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do notgive up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find moredetermination, more knowledge, more help.
If you have met your goals, set some bigger goals. Once you meet yourpersonal or family needs, move onto goals for your group, the society,even mankind. Don't create success and lie in it.You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a sharkin your tank and see how far you can really go!
humor: computers
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DUMB WHEN IT COMES TO COMPUTERS, READ THIS AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."TECH: "Please excuse me. If
I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."TECH: "Please excuse me. If
I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
Puzzle:Barabar pardhaox!!
The Barber paradox is attributed to the British philosopher Bertrand Russell. It highlights a fundamental problem in mathematics, exposing an inconsistency in the basic principles on which mathematics is founded.
The barber paradox asks us to consider the following situation:
In a village, the barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself, but no one else.
The question that prompts the paradox is this:
Who shaves the barber?
No matter how we try to answer this question, we get into trouble.
If we say that the barber shaves himself, then we get into trouble. The barber shaves only those who do not shave themselves, so if he shaves himself then he doesn't shave himself, which is self-contradictory.
If we say that the barber does not shave himself, then problems also arise. The barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself, so if he doesn't shave himself then he shaves himself, which is again absurd.
Both cases, then, are impossible; the question `Who shaves the barber?' is unanswerable
The barber paradox asks us to consider the following situation:
In a village, the barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself, but no one else.
The question that prompts the paradox is this:
Who shaves the barber?
No matter how we try to answer this question, we get into trouble.
If we say that the barber shaves himself, then we get into trouble. The barber shaves only those who do not shave themselves, so if he shaves himself then he doesn't shave himself, which is self-contradictory.
If we say that the barber does not shave himself, then problems also arise. The barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself, so if he doesn't shave himself then he shaves himself, which is again absurd.
Both cases, then, are impossible; the question `Who shaves the barber?' is unanswerable
HUMOR: PRO verbial dictum!!!
Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction... ( Newton 's third Law)
Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!
There always exist two sides of the same coin!
U be the judge..
Contrary Proverbs
All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .
BUT
Time waits for no man .
Look before you leap .
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!
There always exist two sides of the same coin!
U be the judge..
Contrary Proverbs
All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .
BUT
Time waits for no man .
Look before you leap .
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
HU mor:LOgical Liasoning!!
LOGICAL THINKING?
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me. .
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
IF it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours.
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me. .
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
IF it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours.
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
OXY mORAL!!!
An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category.(see top 1 at the end)
45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
And the number 1 oxymoron is..
1. Microsoft Works
GLOW ABOLIZe!!
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am. While his coffeepot ( MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor ( MADE IN HONG KONG ).
He put on a dress shirt ( MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans ( MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes ( MADE IN KOREA ). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator ( MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch ( MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio
( MADE IN INDIA ) he got into his car ( MADE IN GERMANY )
filled it with GAS from Saudi Arabia and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB
At the end of yet anotherdiscouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer(Made In Malaysia ), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals ( MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE ) and turned on his TV ( MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA ..
Y'all gotta Keep this one circulating, please.!
He put on a dress shirt ( MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans ( MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes ( MADE IN KOREA ). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator ( MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch ( MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio
( MADE IN INDIA ) he got into his car ( MADE IN GERMANY )
filled it with GAS from Saudi Arabia and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB
At the end of yet anotherdiscouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer(Made In Malaysia ), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals ( MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE ) and turned on his TV ( MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA ..
Y'all gotta Keep this one circulating, please.!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
BANNED DRUGS
I am forwarding an information which was sent to me.You may doublecheck and correct me if I am wrong
Please Read Very Carefully - INFORM ALL YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS.
India has become a dumping ground for banned drugs; also the business for production of banned drugs is booming. Plz make sure that u buy drugs only if prescribed by a doctor (Also, ask which company manufactures it, this would help to ensure that u get what is prescribed at the Drug Store) and that also from a reputed drug store. Not many people know about these banned drugs and consume them causing a lot of damage to themselves. Please Make sure uforward it everyone u know.
DANGEROUS DRUGS THAT HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIA .
The most common ones are D cold, action 500 & Nimulid.
ANALGIN:This is a pain-killer.
Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression.
Brand name: Novalgin
CISAPRIDE:Acidity, constipation.
Reason for ban :irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride.
DROPERIDOL: Anti-depressant.
Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name : Droperol
FURAZOLIDONE:Antidiarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
NIMESULIDE: Painkiller, fever.
Reason for ban : Liver failure.
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid
NITROFURAZONE:Antibacterial cream.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin.
PHENOLPHTHALEIN: Laxative.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE :cold and cough.
Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril
PIPERAZINE: Anti-worms.
Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine
QUINIODOCHLOR:Anti-diarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name : Enteroquinol
Please Read Very Carefully - INFORM ALL YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS.
India has become a dumping ground for banned drugs; also the business for production of banned drugs is booming. Plz make sure that u buy drugs only if prescribed by a doctor (Also, ask which company manufactures it, this would help to ensure that u get what is prescribed at the Drug Store) and that also from a reputed drug store. Not many people know about these banned drugs and consume them causing a lot of damage to themselves. Please Make sure uforward it everyone u know.
DANGEROUS DRUGS THAT HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIA .
The most common ones are D cold, action 500 & Nimulid.
ANALGIN:This is a pain-killer.
Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression.
Brand name: Novalgin
CISAPRIDE:Acidity, constipation.
Reason for ban :irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride.
DROPERIDOL: Anti-depressant.
Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name : Droperol
FURAZOLIDONE:Antidiarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
NIMESULIDE: Painkiller, fever.
Reason for ban : Liver failure.
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid
NITROFURAZONE:Antibacterial cream.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin.
PHENOLPHTHALEIN: Laxative.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE :cold and cough.
Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril
PIPERAZINE: Anti-worms.
Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine
QUINIODOCHLOR:Anti-diarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name : Enteroquinol
LIfe in Air force by Lt Cl VVR
Dear friends,
Looking back, the life in the Air force has indeed been colourful... .like being a citizen of a mini-Bharat. The thorough mix of people of different religions each practising his own faith along the lines he has been advised by his elders, observing with fervour the various occasions to celebrate his important festivities; when each one joined with equal zeal knowing the reality that each of us is a brother-in-arms (even alms too) of another at times of crisis with just one thing at stake viz. ones own life.
Come Xmas; there will be cake and wine (for those who relish this item), lots of Carrol singing, and some Christian Squadron mates disappearing in the name of a midnight mass to meet special friends. A bit of leg-pulling was quite in order with malice towards none and all in good 'spirits'.
As an aviator, I remember this one in particular when our squadron mate Flt. Lt. Gurdeep Singh (sadly no more now) an avid reader and great entertainer let this one out of his bag of collections after downing a few pegs. I do not quite know the authenticity of it though because when Gurdeep relates, one tends to think as if the guy was in actual scene!!
On a December day back in 1903 at Kitty Hawk in North Carolina, Orville and Wilbur Wright, after numerous failures to fly a heavier-than- air machine, made amazing history. They achieved something that no man had ever done before. Ecstatic, they sent a telegram to their sister Katherine: "We have actually flown 852 feet. Will be home for Christmas."
Overjoyed, Katherine ran down to the local newspaper and pushed the telegram—the greatest news story of the new century—into the hand of the editor. After reading it, he smiled and said, "Well, well! How nice the boys will be home for Christmas."
"What a pity! Mike!(Michael was another squadron mate).The religious people of Christ's day who were actually anticipating his coming as their Messiah also totally missed the point. They failed to recognize him—and ironically had him crucified—because he didn't come, and didn't operate, the way they expected him to", completed Gurdeep haltingly a bit sozzled trimming his mustachios.
"How sad it is that so many miss the full meaning and import of OCCASIONS and events in that they have never thanked God for His kindness, nor accepted the most profound and precious gift ever given ... the gift of the human birth." contributed yours truly philosophically.
This of course was followed by a repartee from Michael on Bhindranwaale etc. when the flight commander (a Muslim) tactfully intervened to announce our move to lunch usually a good spread and scrumptious by saying, "Theek hai ....theek hai. Mullah ka daud Masjith thak hi hota hai. Lekin mera daud tho Dining table thak hi hai, kyonki meera peth mei choonvaa daudthi hai. Chalo Chalo Chalo, friends. Let's adjourn for lunch" ..........haaaaaaaa aa.
Warm rgds
V V R (a retired retreaded Air Vice Marshal)25th Dec 07
Looking back, the life in the Air force has indeed been colourful... .like being a citizen of a mini-Bharat. The thorough mix of people of different religions each practising his own faith along the lines he has been advised by his elders, observing with fervour the various occasions to celebrate his important festivities; when each one joined with equal zeal knowing the reality that each of us is a brother-in-arms (even alms too) of another at times of crisis with just one thing at stake viz. ones own life.
Come Xmas; there will be cake and wine (for those who relish this item), lots of Carrol singing, and some Christian Squadron mates disappearing in the name of a midnight mass to meet special friends. A bit of leg-pulling was quite in order with malice towards none and all in good 'spirits'.
As an aviator, I remember this one in particular when our squadron mate Flt. Lt. Gurdeep Singh (sadly no more now) an avid reader and great entertainer let this one out of his bag of collections after downing a few pegs. I do not quite know the authenticity of it though because when Gurdeep relates, one tends to think as if the guy was in actual scene!!
On a December day back in 1903 at Kitty Hawk in North Carolina, Orville and Wilbur Wright, after numerous failures to fly a heavier-than- air machine, made amazing history. They achieved something that no man had ever done before. Ecstatic, they sent a telegram to their sister Katherine: "We have actually flown 852 feet. Will be home for Christmas."
Overjoyed, Katherine ran down to the local newspaper and pushed the telegram—the greatest news story of the new century—into the hand of the editor. After reading it, he smiled and said, "Well, well! How nice the boys will be home for Christmas."
"What a pity! Mike!(Michael was another squadron mate).The religious people of Christ's day who were actually anticipating his coming as their Messiah also totally missed the point. They failed to recognize him—and ironically had him crucified—because he didn't come, and didn't operate, the way they expected him to", completed Gurdeep haltingly a bit sozzled trimming his mustachios.
"How sad it is that so many miss the full meaning and import of OCCASIONS and events in that they have never thanked God for His kindness, nor accepted the most profound and precious gift ever given ... the gift of the human birth." contributed yours truly philosophically.
This of course was followed by a repartee from Michael on Bhindranwaale etc. when the flight commander (a Muslim) tactfully intervened to announce our move to lunch usually a good spread and scrumptious by saying, "Theek hai ....theek hai. Mullah ka daud Masjith thak hi hota hai. Lekin mera daud tho Dining table thak hi hai, kyonki meera peth mei choonvaa daudthi hai. Chalo Chalo Chalo, friends. Let's adjourn for lunch" ..........haaaaaaaa aa.
Warm rgds
V V R (a retired retreaded Air Vice Marshal)25th Dec 07
water melon choly!!
Lessons of the Square Watermelon
Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than their US counterparts and therefore don't have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it. That is how I would assume the vast majority of people would respond. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. If the supermarkets wanted a square watermelon, they asked themselves, "How can we provide one?" It wasn't long before they invented the square watermelon.
The solution to the problem of round watermelons wasn't nearly as difficult to solve for those who didn't assume the problem was impossible to begin with and simply asked how it could be done. It turns out that all you need to do is place them into a square box when they are growing and the watermelon will take on the shape of the box.
This made the grocery stores happy and had the added benefit that it was much easier and cost effective to ship the watermelons. Consumers also loved them because they took less space in their refrigerators which are much smaller than those in the US meaning that the growers could charge a premium price for them.
Take away lessons from “Square watermelons”
Don't Assume: The major problem was that most people had always seen round watermelons so they automatically assumed that square watermelons were impossible before even thinking about the question. Things that you have been doing a certain way your entire life have taken on the aura of the round watermelon and you likely don't even take the time to consider if there is another way to do it.
Break away from the routine and find better ways to do things.
Question habits: If you can make an effort to question the way you do things on a consistent basis. Forming habits when they have been well thought out is usually a positive thing, but many people have adopted habits from various people and places without even thinking about them.
Best way to tackle assumptions is to question your habits!
Be creative: When faced with a problem, be creative in looking for a solution. This often requires thinking outside the box. Most people who viewed this question likely thought they were being asked how they could genetically alter water melons to grow square which would be a much more difficult process to accomplish. By looking at the question from an alternative perspective, however, the solution was quite simple.
Be creative and look at things in different ways!
Look for a better way: The square watermelon question was simply seeking a better and more convenient way to do something. The stores had flagged a problem they were having and asked if a solution was possible. It's impossible to find a better way if you are never asking the question in the first place. Ask if there is a better way of doing the things since these are usually hints about steps that need to change.
Question old habits and seek for better ways to do things!
Impossibilities often aren't : If you begin with the notion that something is impossible, then it obviously will be for you. If, on the other hand, you decide to see if something is possible or not, you will find out through trial and error.
Search for possibilities in impossibilities!
“Square watermelons” notes apply to work, and elsewhere..
……………Abridged source from Cyberspace..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Humour-marketing love,
Hi all,
Here is a LOVEly letter with AD captions
JUST TO LAUGH ABOUT...ENJOY
Dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,
You are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion ). I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI ( better than the best ). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA(delivering a million smiles ) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh ) feeling for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (born tough) , but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON ( The josh machine ) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones ).
If our fathers say no, we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let's make things better).
They will have MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage ) but I believe in COCA-COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).
Trust in God who's always NOKIA (connecting people) who love each other.
And do not forget that we are WILLS ( madefor each other ). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love,
You must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life ),SATYAM ONLINE (fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye ! I wrote little but actually PEPSI (yeh dil mange more ) !!
With Warm regards.....LG (digitally yours)
Useful Internet Explorer Error messges.
Internet Explorer Error Messages
52 Runtime Error
This is a "bad file name or number" error in JavaScript.
It means that the script cannot find a file it is looking for (web-page, course component) and is most likely a connectivity problem.
Try to clear your temporary internet files which should resolve any further problems... If this does not then speak with the website administrator as there may be a problem with the websites server.
400 Bad File Request
Usually means the syntax used in the url is incorrect (e.g. uppercase letter should be lowercase letter; wrong punctuation marks)
401 Unauthorised
The website server is looking for some encryption key(s) from the client (your computer) and is not getting it. Also, a wrong password may have been entered. Try it again, paying close attention to case sensitivity. .
403 Forbidden/Access Denied
Similar to 401, special permission is needed to access the website A password and/or username may not be correctly registered on the websites database. Other times the website server may not have the proper permissions set up on its directories. ..
404 File Not Found
Server cannot find the file you requested. Refreshing the page (F5) should resolve this problem, although continued error messages may mean the page is no longer available, that there is considerable internet congestion (in which case the user should try again later).
Alternatively the file could have been either been moved or deleted, or you entered the wrong URL or document name. Look at the URL. If a word looks misspelled, correct it and try it again. If that doesn't work backtrack by deleting information between each backslash, until you come to a page on that site that isn't a 404.
From there you may be able to find the page you're looking for. This has to be the most common Internet Explorer Error message on the Internet!
408 Request Timeout
Client (your computer) stopped the request before the server finished retrieving it. A user will either hit the stop button, close the browser, or click on a link before the page loads. Usually occurs when servers are slow or file sizes are large.
500 Internal Error
Couldn't retrieve the HTML document because of server-configuratio n problems.
Contact website administrator. ..
501 Not Implemented
Web server doesn't support a requested feature.
502 Service Temporarily Overloaded
Server congestion; too many connections; high traffic. Keep trying until the page loads. This can be a common occurrence at peak news times eg. the Twin Towers during September 2001 brought CNN and the BBC news sites to a slow crawl and many folks got this error.
503 Service Unavailable
Server busy, site may have moved, or you lost your dial-up Internet connection!
Bad File Request
Browser may not support the form or other coding you're trying to access.
Connection Refused by Host
Either you do not have permission to access the site or your password is incorrect. Try again!
Errors on Page
This error message is a catch-all statement meaning there is something on the web page that the browser either hasn't read properly (connectivity problem) or there are missing items in the web page itself. This problem normally affects the graphics on a web page.
This can be a temporary glitch (caused by insufficient bandwidth), and may be quickly resolved, or it can have a more complex and longer term problem. With regard to most cases of this Internet Explorer Error message, it is due to not having given sufficient time to download the page you are requesting.
It is necessary to wait until the bottom left hand corner of the page reads 'done' before selecting any other links on the page to move forward.
Failed DNS Lookup
The Domain Name Server can't translate your domain request into a valid Internet address. The website server may be busy or down, or incorrect url (web address) was entered.
File Contains No Data
Page is there but is not showing anything. Error occurs in the document. Attributed to bad table formatting, or stripped header information. ...
Host Unavailable
Host server down. Hit reload or go to the site later
Network Connection Refused by the Server
The Web server is busy. To resolve this problem, refresh the page. (Press Ctrl and F5).
Runtime Error
(The information in this solution applies to: Internet Explorer 5.5 (SP1) 95 / 98 / 98 Second Edition / NT4.0 / 2000). When you attempt to browse to various websites, you may receive an error message similar to the following 'A runtime error has occurred. Do you wish to debug? Line number Error: Permission Denied.'
This can occur if you upgrade to IE 5.5 (SP1). The upgrade enables the script-debugging and script-error- notification options. (Note: Because there are several versions of Windows, the following steps may be different on your computer. If they are, please consult your product documentation to complete these steps:)To resolve this issue, disable the script-debugging and script-error- notification options. To do this, follow these steps:1. Start Internet Explorer. 2. On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.3. Click the Advanced tab .4. Click to select the Disable script debugging check box .5. Click to clear the Display a notification about every script error check box . 6. Click Apply, and then click OK.Fortunately this is a very rare Internet Explorer Error message...
Script Error
Script errors are caused when something goes wrong when surfing some web pages. It is caused by VBScript or JavaScript code that is embedded within certain web pages. These errors are mostly due to connectivity problems, though can occasionally be caused by browser incompatibilities. Ensure that you have a compatible browser version (IE 5.5 and above or Netscape 4.76 and above).
Unable to Locate Host
Host server is down, Internet connection is lost, or URL typed incorrectly.
If refreshing the page doesn't work, try clearing the Temporary Internet Files and History and refreshing again. You may have to wait until later
How to Troubleshoot Script Errors in Internet Explorer
A Web page may not display or work correctly, and you may receive an error message that is similar to any one of the following error messages:
Problems with this Web page might prevent it from being displayed properly or functioning properly. In the future you can display this message by double-clicking the warning icon displayed in the Status Bar. If you click Show Details, error details that are similar to the following error details may appear:
Line: 4Char: 1Error: Object doesn't support this property or method. Code: 0URL: http://Webserver/page.htm
A Runtime Error has occured. Do you wish to Debug?Line: 4Error: Object doesn't support this property or method.The following warning message may also appear in the Microsoft Internet Explorer Status bar:
Done, but with errors on page
Reasons
�
A problem in the HTML source code of the Web page.
�
Active scripting , ActiveX controls or Java applets are blocked on your computer or network. Internet Explorer or another program, such as anti-virus programs or firewalls, can be configured to block Active scripting , ActiveX controls or Java applets
�
Anti-virus software is configured to scan your Temporary Internet Files or Downloaded Program Files folders.
�
The scripting engine on your computer is corrupt or outdated.
�
Internet-related folders on your computer are corrupt.
�
Your video card drivers are corrupt or outdated.
The DirectX component on your computer is corrupt or outdated.
Solutions
1.Verify that Active Scripting, ActiveX, and Java are not blocked
1.
Start Internet Explorer.
2.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.
3.
In the Internet Options dialog box, click Security.
4.
Click Default Level .
5.
Click OK.
2.Remove all the temporary Internet-related files
1.
Start Internet Explorer.
2.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.
3.
Click the General tab.
4.
Under Temporary Internet files, click Settings.
5.
Click Delete Files.
6.
Click OK.
7.
Click Delete Cookies.
8.
Click OK.
9.
Under History, click Clear History, and then click Yes.
10.
Click OK.
3.Update or repair the scripting engine
To update the scripting engine for Internet Explorer on Microsoft Windows 98, Windows 98 Second Edition, Windows Millennium Edition, and Windows NT 4.0, download the latest scripting engine. To do so, visit the following Microsoft Web site:
http://www.microsof t.com/downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= 0A8A18F6- 249C-4A72- BFCF-FC6AF26DC39 0&displaylang= en ( http://www.microsoft.com/ downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= 0A8A18F6- 249C-4A72- BFCF-FC6AF26DC39 0&displaylang= en)
To update the scripting engine for Internet Explorer on Microsoft Windows 2000, download the latest scripting engine. To do so, visit the following Microsoft Web site:
http://www.microsof t.com/downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= C717D943- 7E4B-4622- 86EB-95A22B832CA A&displaylang= en ( http://www.microsoft.com/ downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= C717D943- 7E4B-4622- 86EB-95A22B832CA A&displaylang= en)
If you are running Microsoft Windows XP or Windows Server 2003, you are already running Windows Script 5.6. In this case, you may have to perform an in-place upgrade or repair of Windows to repair the scripting engines.4.Turn off the features that you do not need
Smooth ScrollingTo turn off the Smooth Scrolling feature, follow the steps for your version of Internet Explorer.For Internet Explorer 4.x, follow these steps:
1.
Start Internet Explorer, and then click Internet Options on the View menu.
2.
On the Advanced tab, clear the Use Smooth Scrolling check box.
3.
Click OK, and then quit Internet Explorer. For Internet Explorer 5.x and Internet Explorer 6, follow these steps:
1.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options .
2.
On the Advanced tab, clear the Use Smooth Scrolling check box.
3.
Click OK, and then quit Internet Explorer.
5.Install the current version of Microsoft DirectX
http://www.microsof t.com/windows/ directx/default. aspx?url= /windows/ directx/download s/default. htm
Related Links: http://www.colba.net/~hlebo49/ erriexpl. htm
52 Runtime Error
This is a "bad file name or number" error in JavaScript.
It means that the script cannot find a file it is looking for (web-page, course component) and is most likely a connectivity problem.
Try to clear your temporary internet files which should resolve any further problems... If this does not then speak with the website administrator as there may be a problem with the websites server.
400 Bad File Request
Usually means the syntax used in the url is incorrect (e.g. uppercase letter should be lowercase letter; wrong punctuation marks)
401 Unauthorised
The website server is looking for some encryption key(s) from the client (your computer) and is not getting it. Also, a wrong password may have been entered. Try it again, paying close attention to case sensitivity. .
403 Forbidden/Access Denied
Similar to 401, special permission is needed to access the website A password and/or username may not be correctly registered on the websites database. Other times the website server may not have the proper permissions set up on its directories. ..
404 File Not Found
Server cannot find the file you requested. Refreshing the page (F5) should resolve this problem, although continued error messages may mean the page is no longer available, that there is considerable internet congestion (in which case the user should try again later).
Alternatively the file could have been either been moved or deleted, or you entered the wrong URL or document name. Look at the URL. If a word looks misspelled, correct it and try it again. If that doesn't work backtrack by deleting information between each backslash, until you come to a page on that site that isn't a 404.
From there you may be able to find the page you're looking for. This has to be the most common Internet Explorer Error message on the Internet!
408 Request Timeout
Client (your computer) stopped the request before the server finished retrieving it. A user will either hit the stop button, close the browser, or click on a link before the page loads. Usually occurs when servers are slow or file sizes are large.
500 Internal Error
Couldn't retrieve the HTML document because of server-configuratio n problems.
Contact website administrator. ..
501 Not Implemented
Web server doesn't support a requested feature.
502 Service Temporarily Overloaded
Server congestion; too many connections; high traffic. Keep trying until the page loads. This can be a common occurrence at peak news times eg. the Twin Towers during September 2001 brought CNN and the BBC news sites to a slow crawl and many folks got this error.
503 Service Unavailable
Server busy, site may have moved, or you lost your dial-up Internet connection!
Bad File Request
Browser may not support the form or other coding you're trying to access.
Connection Refused by Host
Either you do not have permission to access the site or your password is incorrect. Try again!
Errors on Page
This error message is a catch-all statement meaning there is something on the web page that the browser either hasn't read properly (connectivity problem) or there are missing items in the web page itself. This problem normally affects the graphics on a web page.
This can be a temporary glitch (caused by insufficient bandwidth), and may be quickly resolved, or it can have a more complex and longer term problem. With regard to most cases of this Internet Explorer Error message, it is due to not having given sufficient time to download the page you are requesting.
It is necessary to wait until the bottom left hand corner of the page reads 'done' before selecting any other links on the page to move forward.
Failed DNS Lookup
The Domain Name Server can't translate your domain request into a valid Internet address. The website server may be busy or down, or incorrect url (web address) was entered.
File Contains No Data
Page is there but is not showing anything. Error occurs in the document. Attributed to bad table formatting, or stripped header information. ...
Host Unavailable
Host server down. Hit reload or go to the site later
Network Connection Refused by the Server
The Web server is busy. To resolve this problem, refresh the page. (Press Ctrl and F5).
Runtime Error
(The information in this solution applies to: Internet Explorer 5.5 (SP1) 95 / 98 / 98 Second Edition / NT4.0 / 2000). When you attempt to browse to various websites, you may receive an error message similar to the following 'A runtime error has occurred. Do you wish to debug? Line number Error: Permission Denied.'
This can occur if you upgrade to IE 5.5 (SP1). The upgrade enables the script-debugging and script-error- notification options. (Note: Because there are several versions of Windows, the following steps may be different on your computer. If they are, please consult your product documentation to complete these steps:)To resolve this issue, disable the script-debugging and script-error- notification options. To do this, follow these steps:1. Start Internet Explorer. 2. On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.3. Click the Advanced tab .4. Click to select the Disable script debugging check box .5. Click to clear the Display a notification about every script error check box . 6. Click Apply, and then click OK.Fortunately this is a very rare Internet Explorer Error message...
Script Error
Script errors are caused when something goes wrong when surfing some web pages. It is caused by VBScript or JavaScript code that is embedded within certain web pages. These errors are mostly due to connectivity problems, though can occasionally be caused by browser incompatibilities. Ensure that you have a compatible browser version (IE 5.5 and above or Netscape 4.76 and above).
Unable to Locate Host
Host server is down, Internet connection is lost, or URL typed incorrectly.
If refreshing the page doesn't work, try clearing the Temporary Internet Files and History and refreshing again. You may have to wait until later
How to Troubleshoot Script Errors in Internet Explorer
A Web page may not display or work correctly, and you may receive an error message that is similar to any one of the following error messages:
Problems with this Web page might prevent it from being displayed properly or functioning properly. In the future you can display this message by double-clicking the warning icon displayed in the Status Bar. If you click Show Details, error details that are similar to the following error details may appear:
Line: 4Char: 1Error: Object doesn't support this property or method. Code: 0URL: http://Webserver/page.htm
A Runtime Error has occured. Do you wish to Debug?Line: 4Error: Object doesn't support this property or method.The following warning message may also appear in the Microsoft Internet Explorer Status bar:
Done, but with errors on page
Reasons
�
A problem in the HTML source code of the Web page.
�
Active scripting , ActiveX controls or Java applets are blocked on your computer or network. Internet Explorer or another program, such as anti-virus programs or firewalls, can be configured to block Active scripting , ActiveX controls or Java applets
�
Anti-virus software is configured to scan your Temporary Internet Files or Downloaded Program Files folders.
�
The scripting engine on your computer is corrupt or outdated.
�
Internet-related folders on your computer are corrupt.
�
Your video card drivers are corrupt or outdated.
The DirectX component on your computer is corrupt or outdated.
Solutions
1.Verify that Active Scripting, ActiveX, and Java are not blocked
1.
Start Internet Explorer.
2.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.
3.
In the Internet Options dialog box, click Security.
4.
Click Default Level .
5.
Click OK.
2.Remove all the temporary Internet-related files
1.
Start Internet Explorer.
2.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options.
3.
Click the General tab.
4.
Under Temporary Internet files, click Settings.
5.
Click Delete Files.
6.
Click OK.
7.
Click Delete Cookies.
8.
Click OK.
9.
Under History, click Clear History, and then click Yes.
10.
Click OK.
3.Update or repair the scripting engine
To update the scripting engine for Internet Explorer on Microsoft Windows 98, Windows 98 Second Edition, Windows Millennium Edition, and Windows NT 4.0, download the latest scripting engine. To do so, visit the following Microsoft Web site:
http://www.microsof t.com/downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= 0A8A18F6- 249C-4A72- BFCF-FC6AF26DC39 0&displaylang= en ( http://www.microsoft.com/ downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= 0A8A18F6- 249C-4A72- BFCF-FC6AF26DC39 0&displaylang= en)
To update the scripting engine for Internet Explorer on Microsoft Windows 2000, download the latest scripting engine. To do so, visit the following Microsoft Web site:
http://www.microsof t.com/downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= C717D943- 7E4B-4622- 86EB-95A22B832CA A&displaylang= en ( http://www.microsoft.com/ downloads/ details.aspx? FamilyId= C717D943- 7E4B-4622- 86EB-95A22B832CA A&displaylang= en)
If you are running Microsoft Windows XP or Windows Server 2003, you are already running Windows Script 5.6. In this case, you may have to perform an in-place upgrade or repair of Windows to repair the scripting engines.4.Turn off the features that you do not need
Smooth ScrollingTo turn off the Smooth Scrolling feature, follow the steps for your version of Internet Explorer.For Internet Explorer 4.x, follow these steps:
1.
Start Internet Explorer, and then click Internet Options on the View menu.
2.
On the Advanced tab, clear the Use Smooth Scrolling check box.
3.
Click OK, and then quit Internet Explorer. For Internet Explorer 5.x and Internet Explorer 6, follow these steps:
1.
On the Tools menu, click Internet Options .
2.
On the Advanced tab, clear the Use Smooth Scrolling check box.
3.
Click OK, and then quit Internet Explorer.
5.Install the current version of Microsoft DirectX
http://www.microsof t.com/windows/ directx/default. aspx?url= /windows/ directx/download s/default. htm
Related Links: http://www.colba.net/~hlebo49/ erriexpl. htm
IPv4 and IPv6
Internet Addresses - IPv4 and IPv6IPv4
stands for Internet Protocol version 4. It is the original standard set up for handling IP addresses when the Internet was initial developed by DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) in the early 1970s.
IPv4 uses a 32 bit address field which provides for 4,294,967,296 unique Internet addresses. This is the number of computers/devices that can be connected to and use the Internet. In the early 1970's the population of the earth was less than 4 billion people, personal computers did not exist, and at most there were hundreds, perhaps thousands of mainframe and mini computers that had been assigned Internet addresses. So the 4 billion plus address space was deemed to be more than enough to last beyond any foreseeable requirements.
IPv4 addresses are all but consumed
By 1992, the rapid explosion of the Internet fueled by the vast number of personal computers attaching to it, made it clear that the IPv4 address space was already consumed to the point that a replacement had to be found.
IPv6 was developed in response to this situation. IPv6 allocates 128 bits to map the Internet address space. The number of bits were not just doubled, but instead quadrupled from IPv4's 32 bits to insure that this address space would not run out any time soon!
IPv6 addresses will probably never run out
128 address bits provide IPv6 with 340,282,366, 920,938,463, 463,374,607, 431,768,211, 456 unique addresses. It may seem like overkill to have this many addresses available, However, many visionary individuals believe that eventually every wired and wireless computer, cell phone, PDA, household appliance, security camera, devices that haven't yet been invented, will each have their own unique Internet address.
Besides the huge number of IP addresses, IPv6 provides for better handling of voice than IPv4 which was not initially set up to handle it. This means that phone conversations over the Internet will be smooth and clear instead of choppy and broken up like they often are now.
The time is almost upon us when any device with an Internet address and a connection to the Internet can be monitored and controlled from anywhere in the world. While you're away on vacation you could turn on lights, change your thermostat, check security cameras around your home, etc. The possibilities are only limited by our imagination!
stands for Internet Protocol version 4. It is the original standard set up for handling IP addresses when the Internet was initial developed by DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) in the early 1970s.
IPv4 uses a 32 bit address field which provides for 4,294,967,296 unique Internet addresses. This is the number of computers/devices that can be connected to and use the Internet. In the early 1970's the population of the earth was less than 4 billion people, personal computers did not exist, and at most there were hundreds, perhaps thousands of mainframe and mini computers that had been assigned Internet addresses. So the 4 billion plus address space was deemed to be more than enough to last beyond any foreseeable requirements.
IPv4 addresses are all but consumed
By 1992, the rapid explosion of the Internet fueled by the vast number of personal computers attaching to it, made it clear that the IPv4 address space was already consumed to the point that a replacement had to be found.
IPv6 was developed in response to this situation. IPv6 allocates 128 bits to map the Internet address space. The number of bits were not just doubled, but instead quadrupled from IPv4's 32 bits to insure that this address space would not run out any time soon!
IPv6 addresses will probably never run out
128 address bits provide IPv6 with 340,282,366, 920,938,463, 463,374,607, 431,768,211, 456 unique addresses. It may seem like overkill to have this many addresses available, However, many visionary individuals believe that eventually every wired and wireless computer, cell phone, PDA, household appliance, security camera, devices that haven't yet been invented, will each have their own unique Internet address.
Besides the huge number of IP addresses, IPv6 provides for better handling of voice than IPv4 which was not initially set up to handle it. This means that phone conversations over the Internet will be smooth and clear instead of choppy and broken up like they often are now.
The time is almost upon us when any device with an Internet address and a connection to the Internet can be monitored and controlled from anywhere in the world. While you're away on vacation you could turn on lights, change your thermostat, check security cameras around your home, etc. The possibilities are only limited by our imagination!
POETIC JUSTICE!
It really syllogises
The following is a poem written by Judge Roy Moore from Alabama . Judge Moore was sued by the ACLU for displaying the Ten Commandments in his courtroom foyer. He has been stripped of his judgeship and now they are trying to strip his right to practice law in Alabama!
The judge's poem sums it up quite well.
America the beautiful,
or so you used to be.
Land of the Pilgrims' pride;
I'm glad they'll never see.
Babies piled in dumpsters,
Abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty;
your house is on the sand.
Our children wander aimlessly
poisoned by cocaine,
choosing to indulge their lusts, when
God has said abstainFrom sea
to shining sea,
our Nation turns away
From the teaching of God's love
and a need to always pray.
We've kept God in our temples,
how callous we have grown.
When earth is but His footstool,
and Heaven is His throne.
We've voted in a government
that's rotting at the core,
Appointing Godless Judges;
who throw reason out the door,
Too soft to place a killer
in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill a baby
before he leaves the womb.
You think that God's not angry,
that our land's a moral slum?
How much longer will He wait
before His judgments come?
How are we to face our God,
from Whom we cannot hide?
What then is left for us to do,
but stem this evil tide?
If we who are His children,
will humbly turn and pray;
Seek His holy face
and mend our evil way:
Then God will hear from Heaven;
and forgive us of our sins,
He'll heal our sickly land
and those who live within.
But, America the Beautiful,
If you don't - then you will see,
A sad but Holy Godwithdraw
His hand from Thee.
~~Judge Roy Moore~~
The following is a poem written by Judge Roy Moore from Alabama . Judge Moore was sued by the ACLU for displaying the Ten Commandments in his courtroom foyer. He has been stripped of his judgeship and now they are trying to strip his right to practice law in Alabama!
The judge's poem sums it up quite well.
America the beautiful,
or so you used to be.
Land of the Pilgrims' pride;
I'm glad they'll never see.
Babies piled in dumpsters,
Abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty;
your house is on the sand.
Our children wander aimlessly
poisoned by cocaine,
choosing to indulge their lusts, when
God has said abstainFrom sea
to shining sea,
our Nation turns away
From the teaching of God's love
and a need to always pray.
We've kept God in our temples,
how callous we have grown.
When earth is but His footstool,
and Heaven is His throne.
We've voted in a government
that's rotting at the core,
Appointing Godless Judges;
who throw reason out the door,
Too soft to place a killer
in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill a baby
before he leaves the womb.
You think that God's not angry,
that our land's a moral slum?
How much longer will He wait
before His judgments come?
How are we to face our God,
from Whom we cannot hide?
What then is left for us to do,
but stem this evil tide?
If we who are His children,
will humbly turn and pray;
Seek His holy face
and mend our evil way:
Then God will hear from Heaven;
and forgive us of our sins,
He'll heal our sickly land
and those who live within.
But, America the Beautiful,
If you don't - then you will see,
A sad but Holy Godwithdraw
His hand from Thee.
~~Judge Roy Moore~~
COMPANY LAW!!!!
1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
Tamil literature on net in UTF
If u r an ardent reader of tamil literature pls get thro the link,a maga attempt by
http://www.infitt.org/pmadurai
(in Tamil Script, unicode/UTF-8 format)
http://www.infitt.org/pmadurai
(in Tamil Script, unicode/UTF-8 format)
GOLDEN RULES TO EVALUATE A COMPANY.
1) Behind every stock there is a company and you should always find out what it isdoing. If you can describe about the company in just 500 words your have done yourjob.
2) You should place confidence in what you own and why you own rather than makinghue & cry that it should have gone up.
3) Having gone through few income statement and balance sheet you should find thatthey only speaks something available in the market but you should always try to findflaws in those reports. You should never invest without understanding the finance ofthe company.
4) You should invest in the things you understand.
5) Investing without a research is just like playing a blind game; you should avoidplaying blind games.
6) You should study facts, annual reports, financial conditions, value the company futureoutlook and then make a decision.
7) You should apply relatively simple methods and trust the company on the basis ofvalue and never on the popularity.
8) You should keep away for the bells to ring i.e. to signal you about the end of recessionor the beginning of the bull run market because bells never go off. Therefore youshould avoid forecasting recession, interest rates, inflation etc.
9) You should study for opportunities that have not yet been discovered by the market orcompanies that are “Off the Radar Scopeâ€.
10) If fundamentals are not strong for the companies you should avoid altogether and should wait for the better opportunities
11) You should always feel that bad management will never give good return in goodtimes but good management will fell the gaps when better times arrives.
12) You should always think differently for different company.
13) You should always believe that success comes by hard work, patience, persistence,flexibility, willingness to do research and equal willingness to admit to mistakes andability to ignore general panic.
14) You should consider that these eight steps of success would grow your livelihood.
2) You should place confidence in what you own and why you own rather than makinghue & cry that it should have gone up.
3) Having gone through few income statement and balance sheet you should find thatthey only speaks something available in the market but you should always try to findflaws in those reports. You should never invest without understanding the finance ofthe company.
4) You should invest in the things you understand.
5) Investing without a research is just like playing a blind game; you should avoidplaying blind games.
6) You should study facts, annual reports, financial conditions, value the company futureoutlook and then make a decision.
7) You should apply relatively simple methods and trust the company on the basis ofvalue and never on the popularity.
8) You should keep away for the bells to ring i.e. to signal you about the end of recessionor the beginning of the bull run market because bells never go off. Therefore youshould avoid forecasting recession, interest rates, inflation etc.
9) You should study for opportunities that have not yet been discovered by the market orcompanies that are “Off the Radar Scopeâ€.
10) If fundamentals are not strong for the companies you should avoid altogether and should wait for the better opportunities
11) You should always feel that bad management will never give good return in goodtimes but good management will fell the gaps when better times arrives.
12) You should always think differently for different company.
13) You should always believe that success comes by hard work, patience, persistence,flexibility, willingness to do research and equal willingness to admit to mistakes andability to ignore general panic.
14) You should consider that these eight steps of success would grow your livelihood.
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